What should I do if my mortgage payment is too high?

Start by calculating your true housing-to-income ratio, then contact your servicer to ask about hardship options before missing payments. Depending on whether the problem is temporary or permanent, options include forbearance, repayment plans, loan modification, or refinancing. A HUD-approved housing counselor can help you evaluate the right path at no cost.

What percentage of income should your mortgage payment be?

A common guideline is that housing costs should not exceed 28–31% of gross monthly income for just the mortgage payment, or 36–43% for total debt payments including mortgage. Servicers typically consider a payment above 31% of gross income as a potential hardship threshold for loan modification eligibility. Above 45% is generally considered seriously stressed.

Can I lower my mortgage payment without refinancing?

Yes. Loan modification through your servicer can permanently lower your payment without refinancing — by reducing the rate, extending the term, or both. This requires documented hardship and servicer approval. Removing private mortgage insurance (PMI) once equity reaches 20% can also reduce your total housing cost. Contacting your servicer to discuss options is the first step.

What is the difference between mortgage payment stress and being unable to afford a mortgage?

Payment stress means the mortgage is manageable but creating financial pressure — crowding out savings, requiring tight budgeting, or consuming a high share of income. Being unable to afford the mortgage means the payment cannot be made within normal budgeting, or you have already begun missing payments. Both warrant action, but the urgency and available options differ between the two situations.

Should I stop paying my mortgage if I can't afford it?

No. Stopping payments without a plan creates a cascade of consequences: late fees, credit damage beginning at 30 days, formal default at 90 days, and potential foreclosure after 120 days. Instead, contact your servicer before you miss a payment to ask about hardship options. Acting early preserves more options than simply stopping payment.

Payment pressure

Mortgage payment too high?

A mortgage payment can feel manageable when you first buy the home, then suddenly become too heavy after insurance increases, property tax changes, income loss, debt payments, medical bills, or everyday inflation. If your payment feels too high, the goal is not to panic. The goal is to understand whether the problem is temporary, structural, or urgent — and then compare the right options in the right order.

Last reviewed: May 2026 · About this site

Important: This guide is educational only. It is not mortgage, legal, financial, tax, credit, or foreclosure-prevention advice. If you are behind or close to missing a payment, contact your mortgage servicer and consider speaking with a HUD-approved housing counselor.

1. Calculate your real housing cost

Start with the full number, not only principal and interest. Your true monthly housing cost may include principal, interest, property taxes, homeowners insurance, mortgage insurance, HOA fees, utilities, repairs, and special assessments. Many homeowners feel pressure not because the loan changed, but because taxes, insurance, utilities, or other household bills increased around it.

A simple first check is your housing-payment-to-income ratio. Divide your monthly housing cost by your gross monthly income. If the number is getting close to 35%–45%, your budget may be under pressure. If it is above that range and you also have credit cards, car payments, medical bills, or missed payments, your mortgage stress may be higher.

2. Separate temporary stress from long-term unaffordability

A temporary problem may be a short job gap, delayed bonus, temporary medical bill, seasonal income dip, or a few expensive months. A long-term problem may be permanent income reduction, divorce, major insurance increase, property tax jump, unaffordable adjustable-rate reset, or a payment that no longer fits your household income.

This difference matters. Temporary stress may be handled with budgeting, a repayment plan, short-term assistance, or forbearance. Long-term unaffordability may require deeper decisions such as modification, refinancing, selling, renting out part of the property, or changing the household budget.

3. Do not wait until you miss multiple payments

If your mortgage payment is too high but you are still current, you usually have more room to compare options. Once you miss payments, some options may become harder and timelines can become more serious. Open every letter from your servicer, keep notes from calls, and ask for hardship options in writing.

If you already missed a payment, do not ignore the situation. Contact your servicer and ask what options are available for your loan type. You can also use a HUD-approved housing counselor as a neutral resource to understand the process.

4. Ask your servicer the right questions

Your mortgage servicer is the company that collects your payment. It may not be the company that originally gave you the loan. If your payment feels too high, ask:

Are there hardship options available before I fall behind?
Would a repayment plan, forbearance, deferral, or loan modification apply to my situation?
What documents would you need from me?
How would each option affect my payment, credit reporting, and total balance?
Can you send the requirements and deadlines in writing?

5. Compare refinance carefully

Refinancing can help if you qualify for better terms, but it is not automatically the best answer. A refinance may involve closing costs, points, a new loan term, credit review, income review, and a new interest rate. It may lower the monthly payment while increasing the total interest paid over time.

Refinance may fit better if you are current, have enough income, have acceptable credit, and the new loan clearly improves your situation after costs. If you are already behind or your income no longer supports the loan, refinancing may be difficult or unavailable.

6. Understand loan modification

A loan modification is different from a refinance. Instead of replacing the loan, it may change the terms of the existing mortgage through your servicer if you qualify under hardship and investor rules. It may adjust the term, rate, payment structure, or treatment of past-due amounts.

Modification is usually more relevant when the issue is hardship or long-term affordability. It requires documentation and approval is not guaranteed. Ask your servicer what programs may apply to your specific loan type.

7. Consider forbearance only as temporary relief

Forbearance may allow a temporary pause or reduction in payment during hardship. But forbearance usually does not erase the amount you do not pay. You need to know what happens at the end: repayment plan, deferral, modification, lump-sum payment, or another arrangement.

Forbearance may be useful if the problem is short-term and you expect income to recover. It may be less useful if the payment is permanently too high.

8. Look for free help before paid help

Before paying anyone for mortgage help, check free and official resources. A HUD-approved housing counselor may help you understand your options, prepare for servicer conversations, and avoid scams. Be careful with anyone who promises guaranteed mortgage relief, says they can stop foreclosure for a fee, or asks you to pay large upfront charges.

9. Build a written action plan

Write down your monthly income, full housing cost, missed payments if any, equity estimate, loan type, and main reason the payment feels too high. Then decide your next three actions: review your budget, call your servicer, and compare options based on whether the problem is temporary or long-term.

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